


The Past Doesn't Always Stay

by compassionfatigued



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-05-20 23:07:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6028819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/compassionfatigued/pseuds/compassionfatigued
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the regents decide that one of their own will be moving in at the B&B to help the team, none of the agents are even a little pleased. And when it turns out that the new regent guest has a strong tie to one agent's past, everyone at the Warehouse is in for a surprise, as the past makes itself known in the present. 1 year post Season 5. (At some point there's going to be smut.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

"Artie, you can't be serious!" Steve heard Pete shout as he made his way through the stacks, taking the first of the stairs up to the office as Artie replied.

"Pete, enough! You know how this works; the regents make the decisions and the decision has been made!"

"What decision? What's everyone all riled up about?" Steve asked, making his way into the office, static bag in hand. Claudia spun around in her computer chair, sitting cross-legged, facing her approaching partner and the rest of the room. Myka was at the table in the corner, watching Pete and Artie with mild interest as the two faced off in the middle of the room. "I could hear you guys arguing all the way in Ovoid. And by the way, Artie, I'm leaving this here with you," he gestured to the bag in hand, holding it out to his boss. "It keeps following me out anyways."

Artie's eyebrows jumped to his hairline—far jump it was not—reaching out for the bag. "Following you," he whispered, eyes wide and worried as Claudia jumped into the conversation.

"Artie, focus, announcement, sharing with Steve, remember?"

"Yes, of course," he replied, putting the static bag on the desk next to Claudia. "I was just telling the others. This morning I was informed by the regents—well, from Mrs. Frederic, but from the regents—of a certain…regime change I suppose." He took a deep breath as if bracing for impact. "Starting today the Warehouse will play host to… well, a guest of sorts."

"A guest, Artie!?" Pete exclaimed incredulously. "A regent is moving into the Warehouse! Into the B&B! With us!"

"What!?" Steve asked, shock clear in his tense features. "A regent? Artie, why? Is this because—"

"You know if any of you would ever let me finish a sentence I could explain to you what the regents have said." His tone was harsh, even for Artie, and Steve could tell the idea of having a regent living among them unnerved him. Steve held his hands up in defeat, and Pete nodded, allowing Artie to continue. "Thank you. The regents—not me—have decided to take a more 'holistic approach' as they call it, to agent health, after the stress of the last few years. Because of this, they feel—they, not me—that the Warehouse should staff a full time Warehouse doctor. Now originally that would have been Dr. Vanessa—"

He grumbled menacingly when Pete and Claudia opened their mouths to ooohh and ahhh over Artie's love interest, successfully stifling them. "But some of the older regents were unwilling to switch to a new physician, leaving us with a new, full time Warehouse physician. I haven't been told much—I met her once a while back for all of five minutes according to Mrs. Frederic—so all I know is that she is a fully qualified physician who has been a regent for a few years, and she will be living with all of you starting today. So, if you all want to complain and argue, fine, but do it somewhere that I don't have to hear it!"

"But Artie," this time it was Claudia who tried to object, but Artie shut her down in an instant.

"But nothing, Claudia! Nothing from any of you! You are all going to have to accept that there is nothing I can do about this! The regents make the decisions, Mrs. Frederic passes down the orders, and the rest of us have to deal with it! End of conversation!"

"Wow, Artie! What an enthusiastic welcome!" A soft voice said with a laugh from the door, smile evident in the soothing pitch.

The Warehouse residents jumped in unison, too caught up in their argument to have heard her entrance—that or she appeared in Mrs. Frederic style—heads turning toward the door. Artie had the good sense to look sheepish as the group jumped again at Steve's scream.

"Lila!" He exclaimed, rushing toward the woman standing in the doorway, enveloping her in a crushing hug. He didn't even stop to process, didn't stop to think about how she was there, how she couldn't be there, because he knew that voice. He held her tight, hands on the small of her back, her caramel-colored loose curls pressed against his face. He inhaled her familiar scent, that mix of strawberry and pineapple he'd grown accustomed to during college, yet with a hint of something new, something more surface and masculine. He'd have to check in about that later.

"Jersey!" She shrieked back, arms wrapping tightly around him. "Long time, buttercup! How are you!?" They disentangled slightly, her holding him at arms' length, hands on his hips so she could look him up and down. "Look at you! Still gorgeous as ever! How have you been!?"

Realization seemed to come back at once, that sudden reminder of her lack of belonging. The others stood still on the outskirts, watching the scene curiously. Pete looked ready to burst. Claudia was definitely tense, eyes following the greeting warily, obviously hesitant over Steve's enthusiasm toward their guest.

"Wait, Lou! What are you doing here!? How do you even—? How are you—? What is going on!?"

Their guest brought a hand to her forehead with a thud, shaking her head at her own over-enthusiasm. "Where is my head today? I am so sorry!" She disentangled from Steve entirely to make eye contact with the other members of the room. "Dr. Lila Emerson, regent, new Warehouse doctor. It's a pleasure to finally meet you all."

Artie took this opportunity to refocus, making up for the others' slack-jawed surprise. "Yes, well, welcome," Artie replied gruffly. "You obviously know Steve, this is Pete, Myka, and Claudia." He introduced, gesturing around the room, landing finally on Claudia who was still settled in her computer chair, obviously trying to put all of this together in her head. "As we've discussed, Dr. Emerson will be with us from now on. Any questions, physical or mental health related you should feel free to ask her. Also, per the regents, Warehouse agents will be required to undergo twice-yearly physical exams. Those will begin this week. Anything else, take it up with either of us."

It was Pete who spoke first once the introduction had been completed, latching onto this new piece of information. "Wait, Artie, physicals!? Come on! We've only ever had to do those like once every five years! Twice a year!? Warehouse physicals are so invasive!" He complained, sulking clear on his features.

Artie was ready to bark back a reply to this when to his surprise, Lila stepped in, cool and collected. She smiled, holding her hands up in innocence. "Not my decision, Agent Lattimer. Regent decisions are a group effort. Even as a doctor I only have so much pull. Ultimately Dr. Calder and I make our recommendations and the decisions are put through the regents as a whole. This team has an excellent artifact retrieval rate, which is fantastic. But it also has a high artifact exposure rate, so we're trying to be cautious and careful with your health and safety."

She smiled again, putting forth the calmest and most rational face she could muster. She didn't want to be the bad guy here, the big bad regent dictator coming in to ruin their groove, but this one was non-negotiable. Surprisingly, it was Myka who responded, smiling and in good nature, obviously aware of how to best deal with her partner.

"Pete, why are you even complaining? You know you love any excuse to get naked. This should be like Christmas for you!" Pete smiled at the mention of this, realizing his partner had an excellent point. At the mention of this Claudia's face started to turn red as she seemed to realize that now, as an agent, this new rule included her. Lila took all of this in, about to react when Steve surprised her by responding.

"Well, at least you've already seen me naked so I guess that could be weirder."

And then he stopped, biting back the words as soon as they were out, his face turning a deep shade of Macintosh, eyes wide and worried as the room went silent, the previous laughter held suspended in the air between them. The agents' eyes darted back and forth between their fellow agent and friend and their regent guest. His knowing her was one thing. But this, this was too much.

Lila rubbed the back of her neck, shaking her head at Steve. "Smooth," she laughed, her eyes light with humor despite the situation. Steve looked to her, eyes pleading. She shook her head again as his friends' curiosity began to bubble over in the form of questions.

Pete wolf whistled, "I wanna hear that story!" He exclaimed as Myka asked:

"You what!?"

And Claudia rattled off a slew of half-sentences. "Jinksy! My gay best friend! With a girl! You what!? How scandalous!"

Lila just laughed and smiled, accepting the gazes of the agents as they sized her up. She couldn't find it in her to be embarrassed, completely comfortable with what had happened between her and Steve. Still, she understood completely that he wasn't comfortable, but since he'd brought it up, she was going to let him tell the story, however he felt right.

Luckily for Steve, however, Artie's voice bellowed over the chatter. "Enough!" He wailed, his voice filling the tiny office. "You all have work to do! Pete, Myka, the last two crates of artifacts in Ovoid—go! Steve, Claudia, inventory in Bravo 37-50. Go! Shoo! All of you!"

The group dispersed amidst grumbles of "but Artie!" from both Claudia and Pete. Myka dragged her partner from the room, smiling at Steve as he mouthed her a "thank you" as she passed. He knew he wasn't getting out of this, but that was one bullet dodged. Though that was hardly the big concern: he still had to deal with Claudia.

This, he knew, was going to be nightmare fuel. She would be incessant. Still, he couldn't see any way out of it, so he nodded in acquiesce. Claudia practically clicked her heels together when she realized he wasn't going to try to get out of it. But Steve knew better. He couldn't avoid them forever. He turned to Artie.

"I'm going to leave on time today, Artie. 5 o'clock, I mean it." He turned to Lila. "And then you and I are going to get dinner, and catch up. You have a lot to tell me."

She nodded, smiling at the thought of finally being able to share all of this with him. "We'll talk, I promise. Now get to work. And you," she turned to Claudia, attempting to maker her voice gentle but firm. "Go easy on him. He'll tell you everything in his own time."

Claudia nodded, still obviously uncomfortable around their new guest, but excited to get Steve cornered doing inventory. Steve gave Lila one more anxious glance before allowing the younger agent to drag him back down to the Warehouse floor, leaving Lila and Artie alone.

Lila knew this wouldn't be easy either, that no matter how much she tried to stay out of everyone's way, they may still always feel a little watched, Artie especially, feeling as if he constantly had a boss looking over his shoulder. She didn't want it to be that way, but she knew it would all take time. This was going to be a process, for all of them.

Artie watched her closely, obviously as curious about her as the others had been. She appreciated his restraint so as not to encourage them. Still, now that they'd gone, she could see him debating internally whether or not to ask. She smiled.

"You can ask if you want to," she told him. "About any of it. But in short, I became good friends with his sister before she…" Lila trailed off, her expression pained, chest heavy. "Anyways, he and I were the same age and the three of us were always together. After Liv died I just always looked after him. We went to college together and I tried to keep him afloat. But he struggled… a lot." She paused, not wanting to ramble. "He's a good guy. We've just always been there for each other, in a lot of different ways."

To her surprise, Artie smiled back, his eyes soft in a way she hadn't seen from him before. He sighed, seemingly in spite of himself. "You really are going to fit in just fine here."


	2. Chapter Two

Lila groaned when she heard knocking on her door that evening at the B&B, looking up from where she'd collapsed on her new king bed after unpacking the first round of her things. "Come in," she muttered weakly as the door opened. Steve hadn't really planned on waiting for approval, and she was too exhausted to get up to open the door anyways. Moving had officially and completely drained her.

She watched Steve slink in quietly, not meeting her gaze as he made his way over to her. He crawled up next to her, stretching out on his back to mirror her position. For a moment neither of them said anything, reveling in the rest and silence of what had been an exhausting day.

"Did you hear that," he asked after a few minutes, not knowing how to bring this up but unable to stop wondering. "I knocked, but I wasn't sure if you could… you seemed fine earlier today."

She nodded, propping herself up on an elbow to face him and tucking her hair behind her left ear, revealing the most intricate piece of jewelry Steve had ever seen. Immediately he knew it was Warehouse, that pure, steampunk look that only an artifact could have: a beautiful, rose gold that wrapped and spiraled around the outer shell of her ear, with pieces of turquoise inset through the spirals. He couldn't help the awed look on his face as he examined it, rolling toward her to get a closer look, wanting to touch it but knowing that not all artifacts take kindly to that he refrained. "An artifact," he asked incredulously, still needing to be sure.

She nodded again. "It belonged to one of the founders of audiology, a man by the name of Moe Bergman. He was the first to create a hearing clinic for veterans, and spent years of his life trying to make it possible for them to regain their hearing after it was damaged in battle. It was given to him as a gift by the wife of one of the veterans whose hearing he'd managed to help recover. He was traveling at the time and he kept it on him while he traveled and taught until he could finally give it to his wife when he returned home. But when he gave it to her and she put it on, something happened. It seemed to have been imbued with his desire for people to hear, and his wife's hearing was perfect, so she could hear everything, loudly, and it clipped into her ear and wouldn't come off. That's how the Warehouse ended up with it."

He kept studying the twisted piece of metal, noting all of its beautiful intricacies, but noting too that she was right: it seemed to thread right through her ear. He reached a hand out tentatively.

"You can touch it," she told him. "It doesn't hurt me if you do. We've figured out its quirks by now. Bergman ended up with it in the 70s, and the regents have been studying it ever since then. It doesn't actually have too many downsides, so long as you're careful."

"Perks of being a regent" he asked, running his fingers over the twisted metal.

"Sometimes it feels like a perk, other times a burden. I only wear it when I'm working or attending regent meetings. I sign at home and with my family and friends—so don't think you're getting out of brushing up on your ASL—but the regents prefer this, and I don't mind terribly. It's only bothersome once I take it out."

"For you I will happily talk with my hands," he joked, before allowing his voice to take on a serious tone. "What are the downsides," he asked then, still watching the metal coiled around her ear.

"Well I had to get my ear pierced in seven places to avoid it chomping on me. When it touches your ear the metal snakes out and attaches to itself so it can't fall off. So it never falls off, but I have a fair number of holes in my ear. It'd be insufferable for someone with perfect hearing since it amplifies sound and sends it into the brain, but since I don't hear much anyways it's like before: everything is at a normal volume. The only real downside other than the holes in my ear is the migraines. The longer you wear it, the longer you have a migraine afterwards. I try to only use it a few hours a day and time taking it out so that I can sleep through the migraines. That usually works okay and it isn't so bad. If I'm really lucky Austin takes it out for me while I'm sleeping and I don't even notice. It spends the night in its purple static jewelry box and I wake up having slept through all of it."

"So you're a regent now, and you have someone in your bed named Austin who doesn't mind removing your jewelry at weird hours of the night?" He asked, both playfully and seriously, still smiling at the unbelievable fact of her existence here in this moment, trying to grasp how different their lives had become.

"Yes and yes," she agreed with a smile. "It certainly isn't how I expected things would be, but it's good." He opened his mouth to inquire further, to ask all the questions he'd been holding since she arrived, to interrogate her about this new name, the new man in her life, but she rolled right over his inquiries, bringing the attention back to him. "But enough about me! How'd it go with you today, with inventory and Claudia?"

The memory of that stopped him, reminding him of one reason he'd come looking for her to begin with. He looked away sheepishly. "I avoided her completely," he admitted quietly. "I'd wait for her to start inventory in one aisle and then rush to another. She finally stopped asking about it an hour ago. I just didn't know what to say, how to explain to her who I was then." He brought his eyes to meet Lila's. "I'm sorry if it feels like I'm hiding you, or that I'm trying to hide what happened between us, I just am still not sure how to explain it."

A half smile formed on her lips, eyes sad as she reached out to trace a finger down his face, cupping her hand around his cheek. "You could try the truth," she said gently. "I know you still don't feel great about what happened, but I don't think you deserve to hold onto that. You're a different person now, and even so you weren't a bad person then. You don't have to shame the person that you were. Your friends obviously love you. I'm sure they wouldn't look at you any differently."

He sighed, falling back onto the bed with a thud. He reached out to her, pulling her gently toward him until she was resting on his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around her.

"Thanks for always taking care of me," he whispered, voice heavy with emotion.

She squeezed him tightly for a moment, raising her eyes to bring him into view. "I've always got you back, love, guaranteed. No need to worry about that." He tilted down to press a kiss to her forehead, hugging her back. They laid there a few moments, the silence so easy between them, until finally she heaved herself up and off the bed. "Now come on. You promised me dinner, and I am starving!" She looked to him imploringly, batting her eyelashes, making the most of his weakness for the puppy dog eyes.

He rose slowly, before plopping back down, silently pleading with her not to make him go out there. "Can't we just order a pizza and have it delivered to your bedroom window!?" He asked desperately. She dissolved into a fit of laughter, imagining the response of any pizza carrier when asked to deliver to a second story window.

She shook her head, trying desperately to catch her breath. "No, definitely not," she choked out, still laughing, holding out a hand to him to at least pull him upright. "Now come on, hiding up here is only going to make it harder. You don't have to tell them if you don't want to—you don't ever have to tell anyone anything—but you do have to live with and work with them, and so do I now, so come on." He glared at her but nodded slowly. "That's the spirit! Now I'm going to put on some comfy clothes, and while I do you're going to tell me what our food options are in this little slice of nowhere."

He began and ended his list in less time than it took her to remove her blouse and skinny jeans. She stood in front of her closet, clad in next to nothing, a bra and underwear Steve had never seen, but a style that looked like her. He didn't bother to avert his eyes, just watched as she moved, her body sturdy but toned, skin pale, thick scars visible along her back from a night they no longer talk about. She pulled a sweater from the closet she'd just filled, a deep hunter green cashmere. She laid it on the bed next to him and went to the dresser, pulling out a pair of black leggings and a tiny pair of black socks. She turned back to Steve, pulling on the leggings, watching him watch her.

"Like what you see," she quipped, reaching for the sweater and pulling it on, sitting down next to him to pull on her socks.

"You know I think you're gorgeous," he responded, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek.

She laughed lightly, a small twinge of hurt somewhere in both of them. "And I the same of you. Now come on," she got up and padded over to the floor, grabbing her toffee-colored knee-high boots and sliding them on. She held out a hand to him as he came up behind her. He took it without question, allowing her to steady him just as she always had. "Chinese food?"

He nodded, "Chinese food."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I became really fascinated with the idea of Steve's past, so this is my exploration of that! I'm going to try to post every couple of days or so, but we'll see what happens. And again reviews/input/opinions are super welcome!


	3. Chapter Three

In the living room of the B&B Claudia, Pete, and Myka had just returned from the Warehouse, having survived, shockingly, a day with no pings. Claudia threw herself down on the couch, letting her button-clad messenger bag fall gracelessly to the floor. Myka curled up in the chair and a half, a book unopened in her lap. Pete settled next to Claudia on the couch with his pre-dinner sandwich. It wasn't long before he had to ask.

"So what's the scoop? What'd you get out of Steve during inventory about him and the regent?" His words came out mumbled by the bread and ham his mouth was stuffed full of. Still, Claudia understood.

She shook her head. "Nothing at all! He practically ran away from me all inventory! How do you guys think he knows a regent?"

"And what's with the seeing each other naked part?" Pete chimed in again, finally finished chewing. "I thought he was like definitely gay."

"Well he has to have known her before she was a regent," Myka added, clearly having been waiting for this conversation as well. "You heard him: he was completely shocked at her being here. And I mean Pete come on a woman seeing him naked doesn't mean he's not gay. I'm sure plenty of men have seen you naked with, you know, sports, or whatever it is you do, and you're straight. And I mean she's a doctor so maybe she's treated him or something. Who knows."

"No way," Claudia argued. "He got super defensive after he let that slip. Jinksy's definitely hiding something."

"But why," Pete asked. "I mean come on, it's us. We're not going to judge him or anything."

"Yeah, but you know how he is about his past. You've gotta pull teeth."

"Maybe you guys should ask him nicely," Myka suggested. "Maybe if you asked politely and didn't hound him to death he'd tell you."

"Oooo! Maybe you should ask him, Mykes," Pete countered. "You love that touchy feely stuff!"

"But I'm not the one dying to know. You guys want to push, you'll have to do it on your own. Steve will tell us when he's ready. Or maybe Lila will tell you if you ask her. But I don't think driving them nuts about it is the best way to get your information."

"Thank you, Myka," Steve said from the stairs, making the group jump for the second time that day, all looking more than a little sheepish.

"Jinksy," Claudia exclaimed nervously. "How long ago did you get there?"

"Long enough to hear how concerned you are about my sexuality," he raised an eyebrow, causing her to blush like he hadn't seen since that first stakeout together. Steve came further into the room, Lila following closely behind, laughing at their worrying over his social life.

"You guys have got to come up with some better hobbies," she quipped. "His sex life just isn't that interesting."

This merited a sarcastic "thank you" from Steve as Pete squealed in delight. Myka shook her head at all of them and picked up her book, only her peripheries keeping tabs on the group. It was Claudia who took challenge with this, her voice anything but friendly as she sat up in her seat, all focus directed at Lila.

"You seem to know an awful lot about his sex life for a regent. How is that if you're supposed to be a secret? You just sit around spying on all of us? Is that the regents' job these days? And we're just supposed to trust you to live here with us?"

Her whole posture was accusatory. Steve was dumbstruck, unable to form words to defend his friend as he watched the anger roll off of Claudia. Pete and Myka were watching closely as well, everyone wondering if Claudia was about to be in serious trouble. Steve knew that Lila wasn't an unfair person, or easily offended, but he didn't know the rules of the regents, or what response mouthing off to one of them warranted.

To her credit, Lila was a mountain. She let all of Claudia's negativity fall away from her, her eyes clear and bright. When she spoke her voice was firm, confident and in control, but somehow still polite. "I may be a regent, but I'm still a person, Claudia. Even regents have pasts, friends, people they've met before and after they've become regents. I do know a lot about Steve's sex life. We've been friends since we were 12. You learn a lot about someone when you know them for 17 years. But even if we weren't friends, it's important you remember my job and my position. I do know a fair amount about all of your sex lives, or lack thereof, pre and current to the Warehouse. I would never spy on any of you, but if you don't think that the regents have access to that kind of information, you're kidding yourselves. They know about all of us, in ways even I am not privy to know how.

"But that being said, I would never use that information without having learned it from you personally and having a good rapport. Steve and I are solid, and I joke with him and about him in the same way he does about me. Our relationship has nothing to do with the Warehouse or the regents. We've hardly spoken since he became an agent."

Steve watched the two nervously, studying Lila's eerie calm and Claudia's suspicious curiosity. He took a deep breath and stepped between the two, leaning himself against the coffee table as he caught Claudia's eye and held her gaze, finally regaining his voice after the initial shock of her outburst. "Claude, easy, it's okay. Lila was just kidding." He rubbed a hand hard over his face, seeming to resign himself to the inevitable. He let out a heavy sigh. "And, this is all my fault. Let's order dinner and the we will all talk about all of this, okay? And you guys can ask your questions or whatever you like and we'll sort this out. But food first, please? We were going to order Chinese."

At the mention of food Pete sprang into action, leaping to his feet and dashing into the kitchen, coming back a few seconds later with menus in hand. "Okay! What does everyone want!?" He spread the menus over the table and the clatter grew, everyone pointing and debating amongst themselves. Steve was happy to see that at least food could still keep them all together.

They all made their decisions and Lila made the call. When the time came Pete and Myka volunteered to retrieve their dinner, leaving Steve, Lila, and Claudia alone together. Be it luck or Lila's good timing, she quickly excused herself to make a call, leaving Steve and Claudia to what was perhaps their first awkward silence in the years since their first mission. Steve couldn't help but be frustrated by the silence, by the anger rolling off of her as he sat down next to her on the sofa, pulling himself cross-legged to face her.

"Claude," he started gently, repeating when she made no move to answer him, no acknowledgement that he'd even spoken. "Claude, can we talk about this, please? What is going on?"

"Why would we talk about it, Steve?" She shot back. "You avoided me all day. Why start talking to me now?"

He sighed. It stung, but he knew she was right. "Claude, I'm sorry about that, okay? It's not that I don't want you to know about Lila or what happened, it's just—"

"It's what, Steve!? Because it certainly feels like you don't want me to know your friends or be a part of your life outside the Warehouse or before the Warehouse."

"It isn't that," he tried to soothe.

"Then what, Steve," She asked, her voice thick with stress. "I get that she's back now and we can't be BFFs anymore but I thought—"

"Wait, Claudia, what!?" He asked in disbelief. "What do you mean we can't be BFFs anymore? Where is that coming from? You're always the one who promised me it's whether I like it or not, and Claudia," he paused, making sure to catch her eye and hold her gaze. "I do like it. I love it. You will always be my best friend. You don't ever have to worry about that."

He watched the tears form in her eyes and spill over as she hastily reached up to brush them away. His heart ached as he watched her nod in acceptance, frustrated with himself for not realizing he'd made her feel this way.

"I am truly sorry I hurt your feelings and made you worry, Claude, but I promise nothing is going to keep us from being friends. Hell, even my being dead didn't stop us, remember? So Lila certainly won't stop us, and Claude, honestly I need you to know she wouldn't want to. She's not that way at all. She's so happy that I have friends around me and she'd never get in the way of that. I love you both. And I am the luckiest person in the world right now because I have my two best friends together under one roof. The last thing I'd want is for either of your feelings to be hurt."

She nodded, rubbing the last of the wet from her face. She took a deep breath. "So then why wouldn't you talk to me? You just shut me out."

"I know, and I'm sorry about that," he acknowledged, taking her hand in his. "It wasn't about you, or even about Lila, it's just—that part of my life, the part that everyone's asking about that Lila was such a big part of… I'm not very proud of who I was then. I guess I was just hoping there was a way somehow that I could keep you guys from seeing that person. But I guess you were right when you told me at the Warehouse the past rarely stays in the past. I guess I should've accepted that a while ago. And I'm trying. I'm sorry I didn't just talk to you about it to begin with—it's been kind of a stressful day for me—but I'll try to do better talking about it now. I think I'm going to give kind of a general synopsis to everyone, primarily to keep Pete quiet, and then if you have more questions or want more details we can talk more when that's done, if that's okay with you?"

She nodded again, still seeming a little unsure but at least comforted by the promise of talking. He scooted up next to her and put an arm around her shoulders, keeping his other hand clasped tight to hers. She let her head fall to his shoulder and finally afforded herself a sigh of relief over what had been an exhausting day for everyone. He kissed her forehead, allowing himself more physicality with her than he would usually permit, generally attempting to keep some line of professionalism considering their relationship as coworkers, and offered one more apology.

"I really am sorry that I hurt your feelings, Claude. I hope you know that wasn't my intention. But please don't worry about Lila. I honestly think you two will love each other and get along so well. She's so much like you, and she and Liv used to be inseparable."

Claudia's head shot up at the mention of Olivia. "She and Olivia were friends?"

He nodded. "Best friends. They used to get in so much trouble together," he laughed, the sound sad and unfamiliar. "Once they decided they were going to sell gourmet cookies, and they told me I could be their taste tester, but Livvy mixed up the salt and sugar bins and the cookies were the most terrible things you ever tasted. Sometimes I still think they did that on purpose so they could watch me eat them," he laughed again.

"We actually didn't," Lila chuckled, making her way back into the room, having left her boots back upstairs. She curled herself up in the corner of the couch on the other side of Steve. "Or at least I didn't know about it, if we did. Our girl did always have a mischievous side though, so you never do know." She paused, her expression far away for a moment. "Do you remember how we broke the stand mixer during that little venture? We got it stuck on high. It threw flour and sugar all over the kitchen. Your mum was so mad! The three of us were covered." She and Steve dissolved into a fit of giggles, even Claudia allowing herself to laugh at the image of their memory.

"Well there's a more cheerful scene," Pete commented as he and Myka came back into the room, big bags of dinner that certainly smelled delicious in their hands.

"Food!" Claudia exclaimed. "Finally!" She leapt out of her seat to help Pete and Myka distribute, passing out cartons and chopsticks, and forks for Pete and herself, both always opting to never make eating a challenge.

They settled into a comfortable silence, Steve, Claudia, and Lila back on the couch, Myka back in her chair, with Pete on the floor leaning against her, everyone chewing contentedly.

Finally, after more time than Steve had actually expected, Pete asked with mouth full of lo mein, "okay seriously, I'm dying here. What happened between you two?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: reviews and feedback always welcome!


	4. Chapter Four

Pete pointed a fork full of noodles in Lila and Steve's direction. Steve nodded, leaning forward to set his container of dumplings on the coffee table. Lila closed her container of sesame tofu, setting it next to Steve's, turning her attention to him in case he decided he wanted her input or support. "Maybe start from the beginning," she encouraged quietly, placing a hand lightly on his calf, allowing him to accept the support if he needed it. He nodded again.

"Right. The beginning. I guess… when we met?" He looked to her for confirmation. She nodded encouragingly. "Right. Okay. When we were 12 my sister… she was 14, she started volunteering at an animal shelter that Lila's aunt actually owned. So Lila essentially lived there, and it wasn't long before she and Liv just became… inseparable is the best word. They were always together: getting into the most obscure situations, going on adventures, working on business ventures—homemade cookies, dog walking; once they tried to free all of the goldfish at the local fair." Lila laughed at the memory, watching as everyone else studied her and Steve. She smiled to him, continuing her silent encouragement.

"Anyways, I essentially spent all of my time with the two of them. And it was like that for close to five years. Liv went to college but she came home every weekend to see us, and when she was gone it was really just Lila and I." He took a deep breath but Pete interrupted before he could continue the story.

"I'm sorry, but what does all of this have to do with you guys getting naked?" He asked, clearly wanting to skip to the good parts.

"Pete!" Myka shushed, "I'm sure he's getting to that, calm down!"

She punched him gently on the shoulder. "Ow! Okay! Sorry, continue," He gestured to Steve, rubbing his shoulder exaggeratedly.

"Anyways, things continued that way for two years. Olivia had just finished her sophomore year and then she… died. She'd stayed at school over the summer to work on research, went out with friends one evening and… she was only 20." He trailed off quietly, collecting himself. It had become easier to talk about her after all this time, but telling them the whole truth, well, he was still working on the courage to do that. "Lila and I had just graduated high school. She was going for an accelerated medical program and I was…" he trailed off. This was where explaining this was going to be difficult. These were the parts of himself he'd much rather forget existed. "I was lost without Livvy. I was reckless, completely unreliable; I was… full of so much hate.

"Lila tried to keep me above water, forced me to keep up on my studies, and then the trial started and I came even more unglued. I couldn't deal. I was clinging to everything I'd lost. I became… paranoid, isolated. I was terrified of losing anyone else… especially Lila." He looked to her and they locked eyes a moment. She smiled reassuringly as he took the hand she'd offered earlier. "She was getting more and more involved in college activities. I still saw her but it wasn't the same. We lived together in an apartment off campus but we just sort of existed together. It was hard to juggle our new and old selves and any time we spent together was really just her trying to save me from myself. But I didn't know what to do. I just knew I couldn't lose her. So I asked her to be my girlfriend. And she agreed."

"Wait, wait, wait," Pete interjected again. "I don't get that. You're gay! Didn't she know you were gay?" He turned to Lila. "Didn't you know he was gay?!"

Steve huffed a laugh, Lila making a fairly similar noise. Claudia was watching the two curiously, having stayed surprisingly quiet through the whole of the story so far. It seemed that Steve's earlier conversation with her really mellowed her anxiety about his and Lila's relationship. Still, this part piqued her interest. " I knew what I was," Steve started. "But I hadn't accepted it yet. Liv I know suspected. Meaning Lila did too. But they both just supported me and didn't push, I'm sure figuring I'd tell them when I was ready. And then after she died… I embraced this crazy, hegemonic masculinity. Like I couldn't save her so I had to prove myself in all of these other ways."

"And I definitely had my suspicions," Lila chimed in, giving Steve a break. He smiled gratefully at her. "But I also know that sexuality is a lot more fluid than we admit, so I trusted him." She paused, seeming to steel herself for what came next. "I'd loved him for a long time, and I'd be lying if I said those feelings were only platonic. After so many years of loving someone so completely it can be hard to separate your feelings, even when you suspect a little gay in there somewhere. Because of that, when he asked, I accepted, because I'd always hoped, even though I knew somewhere that something wasn't right, and that with his state of mind he wasn't right.

"Still, I was hopeful that maybe if we got together he'd stop worrying about everything he'd lost and start focusing on moving forward. I thought I could fix it. And I couldn't, but I could help. He was sick for a long time, but he got help, and slowly he got better, less angry, less paranoid, happier, though he definitely still held onto a lot of that anger. Still, overall, our relationship was actually good. Nothing really changed, except…"

"Except we started sleeping together," Steve finished for her, color rising into his cheeks. Still, he'd agreed. "Lila took my virginity in our freshman year of college; we dated for two years."

"Two years!?" Pete asked, dumbfounded. "And don't you mean you took her…" He let that question trail off as Steve shook his head.

"No, I don't mean I took her. She took mine. At least in that way. But yeah, we dated for two years, and lived together the whole of our undergrad, so we got really used to seeing each other naked, hence my comment this morning. Does that about cover it?"

"What happened between you two?" Myka asked quietly, obviously trying to piece all of this together. "How did it end?"

Lila squeezed Steve's hand, silently letting him know she'd take this one. "Our sex life had been a problem for a while. And then on the four year anniversary of Liv's death we were in our apartment, drinking. I don't really drink, and Steve was worse that night than he'd been in a long time, so I kept myself pretty sober. We were lying in bed when he just started apologizing. I kept asking what for and what was wrong but he just kept apologizing, until finally he said—"

"I said 'You are so beautiful. I wish I could appreciate you like you deserve.'"

"And I asked what you meant."

"And I said, 'I just don't appreciate you how other guys would, and I'm really sorry about that.' And then I curled into you and fell asleep."

She smiled, "I didn't think you even remembered that."

He caught her eye. "It's fuzzy, but it's there."

She nodded. "Well then, there it is. We had that conversation and I just knew then what it was about. But I had to figure out what to do with that. I didn't want to accuse or push, but I didn't want him to feel like he was obligated to stay with me because of our past. I'd let myself believe it was real so long that it felt real—"

"And it was real, Lila. My love for you was and still is completely real. And my attraction for you was also real, just… not the most authentic version of myself." He said this as if the words were familiar in his mouth, as if this was a conversation they'd had many times before. The agents watching them were sure that it was.

"And I wanted the most authentic version of you, which is why the next day I ordered us pizza, poured us wine, and resolved to figure out what we were going to do about us."

"For a long time I'd thought that I could have the best of both worlds with her, thought that we could keep up as we were, get married, have our life and have it be perfect." He took a deep breath. This was the hard part. One of the parts he was most ashamed of. "But I realized after a while she didn't… excite me, like she should, like I knew she wanted to, like I wanted her to. Our sex life was okay, but it wasn't amazing. At first I thought it'd get better with time, but something was missing. I couldn't find the passion or hunger that I knew I should have. I put so much pressure on myself to have that, to feel that, I made everything worse. I started feeling like I'd wasted her time, like I'd lied or been unfaithful. I knew after what I'd done she'd never speak to me again."

She squeezed his hand again. "Luckily he's a bit of a drama queen, so things between us were fine. We decided we were better off as friends, and we are."

"So Lila wasted no time trying to set me up with every gay guy within a hundred mile radius. And I proved to be a disaster in relationships with both genders." Everyone chuckled, Lila shoving him playfully. "And that's it: our absurd and tragic love story."

Lila leaned over and kissed Steve on the temple. "Proud of you, kid." She got up and began clearing boxes, chopsticks, allowing others to hand her their leftovers. "Everyone satisfied?" She asked lightly, inviting them to ask while raising her brow, silently challenging them to pry further.

Myka shook her head, reaching down to grip Pete's shoulder. "More than," she agreed, standing up. "You've both been incredibly forthcoming, more than any of us have right to ask." She pulled up on Pete, smiling as he moaned and wailed about having to get up off the floor. "Thank you for that. We'll leave you be. Come on, Pete; let's go up to bed."

"It's barely 8:30!" He grumbled as she took his hand, pulling him toward the stairs.

"I know," she responded, winking to the rest of the group as she led him out of sight. The remaining three laughed at Pete of all people not understanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So now we know what Steve's comment was about, but as he told Claudia, there's more to the story. The next chapter will be up soon, with the part he decides to only tell Claudia.


	5. Chapter Five

Lila came back into the room having put all of the leftovers away. Steve and Claudia were still where she'd left them, both not looking at each other, not speaking. "You guys okay," she asked gently, seeming to snap them both out of their separate silences. Claudia looked to her, shaking her head and blinking rapidly, as if coming out of a fog. Lila had a feeling this would be a lot for her to handle, and she wanted to give them time to talk this through more if they needed.

Steve nodded slowly. "Yeah… Lou, I'm okay."

Claudia nodded in agreement. "Yeah… ditto."

"Good. I'm going to go upstairs and make a phone call, give you two a chance to talk a little more. If you need me just come get me."

He nodded, giving her a quiet "thanks." She turned and headed for the stairs.

It was Claudia's voice that stopped her, quiet and unsure. "Lila?" She asked, causing the other woman to turn back, catching her eye. "Just… thank you, for being there for Steve… and for being honest with me."

Lila smiled, feeling for the first time some of Claudia's harsh exterior soften. "You're welcome, Claudia. You guys talk. I'll be upstairs if you need me."

She made her exit quietly, leaving the two friends together on the couch in their silence. "Are you okay, Claud," Steve asked now, gently, turning to face her once more.

"Yeah, yeah, of course," she brushed off, "it's just, you know, it's a lot." She shook her head, attempting to shake off the wave of information. "But still, nothing so terrible that you couldn't have told me," she teased, giving him a gentle shove on the shoulder. "And… wait for it… you were right. Lila does seem pretty badass."

Steve chuckled lightly, but the positivity disappeared as quickly as it'd come. "She is great," he said solemnly. Claudia studied him, confused by his somber attitude.

"Okay what is that? I told you none of that was even that terrible so either you're really worried about some pretty small things or there's something you're still not telling me."

He took a deep breath, head in hands, fighting with this, the part that Lila had left so completely up to him. She'd skimmed right over it, given it mention without giving it importance, and now he had to decide, to show it to her or leave it buried.

He looked to her slowly. "You up for one more story?" He asked, attempting to breathe into the tangle of wire he felt forming deep in his gut.

"Of course," she agreed, attempting to quell her excitement, trying to look eager but calm, encouraging him.

"It's not good, Claude. Lila skipped right over it with the others. She gave me an out that I didn't deserve."

"Maybe she doesn't blame you as much as you blame yourself." She raised a brow at him. He nodded, agreeing but certainly not accepting.

"She should." He said quietly. "You remember the part where I was angry, paranoid, drinking, unstable, the part where I was 'sick for a long time but I got better?'" He paused, his face contorted with anguish, attempting to breathe deeply. "She left a lot of stuff out. When we started dating things were good; they were. My fear of losing her had dissipated with being around her so much, living with her and dating. But eventually that phase of being around each other all the time wears off. It's not cute anymore. Eventually she needed space and I didn't know how to let go to give it to her.

"I started trying to keep her around me even when I knew she wanted to go out to do other things. At first I'd fake sick, and then when that stopped being believable it was help with assignments, then just wanting to stay in, then just blatantly not wanting her to go out. I gave up on the lies and just told her I was afraid of what would happen when I wasn't with her, which you'd think would have been better, but it's like it just gave me permission to tell her what to do. She felt badly about triggering my anxiety so she'd do what I asked. For a couple of months it was like that, and finally one night she was done.

"Her friends had wanted to go out. I was supposed to work. She hadn't seen them for weeks—I was… abusive, is the best word. I kept her from everyone she loved. That night she decided she wanted to go. I told her I didn't want her to but she was so tired of me telling her what to do, so exhausted of the isolation, she insisted she was going. I grabbed her keys, she was yelling, I was yelling. She lunged for them and all I could think was she couldn't leave because something bad would happen."

He took a shaky breath, tears flowing freely. "I couldn't think of anything other than how scared I was of losing her. She reached for the keys and I… shoved her." He pressed his fingers deep into the corners of his eyes, trying to stave off the wet and the sadness as a sob escaped him. "I shoved her and she fell… straight through the glass coffee table and then onto the floor. God there was so much blood everywhere and she wouldn't get up and I…"

He took several shaky breaths, trying to calm the sobs now wracking his body, still refusing to look at Claudia. "I did that to her. I could've killed her. I would've lost everything: my best friend, my whole world. She could've died, and that would've been all my fault."

Claudia sat frozen, tears streaming down her own face as she contemplated everything Steve had just told her. She wanted to reach out to him, to pull him close and tell him it was all right, that everyone was safe now, but a small part of her was shocked, worried, confused, trying to reconcile that version of Steve with the version she knew now.

"You're a different person now," she said firmly, knowing that to be true even if she didn't know how to comfort him.

He sniffled a few more times, meeting her gaze for the first time since his story began. "I was so messed up I couldn't even explain what happened when I called 911, I just kept shouting about the blood and begging her to wake up. She was in and out of consciousness—she'd hit her head on the metal bars that made up the base of our table—and then the paramedics got there and even in that terrible moment she protected me. She made up a story about tripping over our rug. I spent a week with her in the hospital, she had three surgeries to remove the glass from her back, and the trauma to her head caused permanent damage to her hearing.

"The regents gave her an artifact that reconstructs her hearing, but without it she's almost completely Deaf. The morning after it happened I called and made myself an appointment with a therapist Lila had found for me after Liv died. I started going to therapy three times a week and taking anger management classes. I found Buddhism and yoga and mediation. I made a promise to her that I'd get my life together, that nothing like that would ever happen again, and I kept that promise. But I almost lost my best friend before I made that change."

"But you did change," she reminded him again, not sure what else to do. Her head was spinning as she tried to process everything Steve had just handed her: his past and childhood, his delve into heterosexuality, and most significantly his time as a danger to his own best friend. The idea of him as dangerous just didn't sit with her—she'd never seen him that way before.

He nodded. "I did, but not a day goes by that I don't think about how that could have turned out, about how bad it could have been, about the permanent damage I did to her." He got quiet for a moment, staring off into the room. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Claudia feeling as though there was something more, waiting him out. "You know so much of Buddhism and what they teach in therapy is letting things go, but I'm just afraid if I let that go… I'll go back to being that person."

Claudia shook her head, attempting to choose her words carefully. "I think it's like what your mom said about Olivia, that instead of thinking about your anger toward him you need to think about her. I think maybe that's true here too: instead of thinking about your anger toward yourself, you focus on how much you care about her, or me, our family now. You don't want to hurt any of us, Steve, and I don't think you would, even if you stopped beating yourself up over things you can't change, I don't think you'd hurt us. I think you already learned the lesson, and I think you can let go of the guilt without letting go of the lesson." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, getting up off the couch. "Think about it. I've gotta go to bed and… process. If you need me you know where to find me."

He smiled sadly, "Love you, Claude, see you in the A.M."

"Bright and sunshiney early," she agreed, and she was gone.

Steve sat on the couch staring off into space for over an hour before he made his way upstairs, trying to process what Claudia had said. He didn't mean to, but his feet took him without hesitation to the door at the end of the hall, the door that hadn't been there yesterday morning. He opened it quietly, his bare feet not making a sound against the cool wood floor. He slid in gently under the covers, hoping not to wake her, a move so familiar to him from how little he'd slept when they'd been together. But she'd been waiting.

"Hey, you," she mumbled sleepily, pushing strands of hair out of her face, eyes half open and bleary.

"Sorry I woke you," he whispered as she snuggled into his chest, allowing him to put his arms around her.

"'S no big deal. I figured you'd be in." She paused a moment, and Steve thought she'd fallen back asleep, but after a minute she spoke, her voice quiet, gentle. "You didn't have to tell her, you know, not because of me."

Steve didn't even ask how she knew. She just knew him, even the parts he didn't like. "I know," he whispered, kissing her softly on the forehead. "But I needed to, for me. Now how do I get this off of you so you can go back to sleep."

She nodded, satisfied as she burrowed into him further. "Have to tickle it," she yawned. "All the way up and down, then push on the middle stone. It'll click." He did as she directed, hearing it click as he felt the metal unwind from her ear. Within seconds her breathing evened out, and she was back asleep. He slipped it into the static jewelry box on the nightstand and settled back down into bed, wrapping an arm around her. He took a hand under her shirt and gently traced the scars on her back with his fingers, over and over, caught in this place of needing to remember and wanting to forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am hoping to get chapter six up by the end of the weekend, but college is slaying me right now so we will see! Until then, let me know what you think about the story so far!


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am so sorry about taking forever to put this chapter up, and for it being super short! Midterms and a death in the family have made it super difficult to find writing time/motivation but I am definitely going to keep going with this story, so please feel free to comment/review/tell me what you think so far!

The morning after Lila’s arrival began early, with Artie screaming through the B&B at 5:30. Steve leapt out of bed, his heart pounding at the thought of emergency before his eyes fell on Lila, still sleeping soundly, unaware of all of the ruckus. He toyed with the idea of leaving her to sleep before discounting it, not wanting her to feel left out and unaware what the present emergency was. He walked over and flipped on the lights before going back to the bed and nudging her gently, mentally running through the signs he remembered to explain this to her, cursing himself for letting his skills get so rusty.  
I’m sorry to wake you, but Artie’s downstairs screaming his lungs out about some sort of emergency and I figured you’d want to be there for the mission briefing.  
Lila looked around groggily, attempting to force her eyes and brain to connect. It took her a moment to correct his signs in her head, to realize he’d meant “emergency” and not “Easter” before he actually made sense to her. She nodded, deciding to correct him later. Go ahead down, she told him. I’ll put my ears on and be down in a minute.   
Steve agreed and bolted downstairs, making a quick stop in his room to throw on clean jeans and a different shirt. When he got to the bottom of the stairs everyone was present, only Myka and Artie looking as if they were awake. Pete and Claudia were still in their sweatpants, hair ruffled and eyes tired.   
“Nice of you to join us,” Artie grumbled, a pile of folders in his hands.   
“I went to wake Lila,” Steve told the group, unsure if he should after he already had, unable to take it back, deciding he may as well just get it over with to the rest of them since he’d already come this far. “She’s Deaf, Artie, she can only hear with an artifact the regents gave her and she can’t sleep with it—it hurts her—so we need to make sure we have a way to wake her in emergencies if she’s going to be here.”  
“Yes, well,” Artie replied gruffly, shock evident in his features, “we can attend to that but as it happens currently we do not need a doctor so Ms. Emerson could have remained sleeping.”  
“And miss your bright and sunshiney personality at 5:30 in the morning, Artie? I would never.” Lila greeted, coming down the stairs in leggings and a sweater, hair tied atop her head, leaving the clip in her ear clearly visible, beautiful and daunting. “You know you guys have gotta come up with some better hobbies other than talking about me—or Steve, for that matter—when we’re not here,” she chuckled, smiling and way too awake for the time of day.  
“Wait, you’re really Deaf?” Pete chimed in, talking right over Artie’s attempt to move the conversation forward. “Cool! Can you sign?”  
Lila smiled, nodding as she signed to Pete. I’m really Deaf, almost completely. I didn’t lose my hearing until I was in my twenties, but my mum was Deaf so we primarily signed in my family when I was growing up.  
That is so cool! Pete signed back, so excited to have a chance to use the language he’d only ever shared with his sister. I haven’t had a reason to sign in ages, occasionally when I Skype my sister but we don’t really talk much lately.  
Well you know, Steve signs, Lila told him then, pointing toward their friend. I can’t believe you guys haven’t ever realized that you have that in common!  
“Enough!” Artie yelled then, stepping between the two of them. “It is great that the two of you are so excited to chat at this ungodly hour of the morning but as always there is work to do! So could you please calm your hands until we get through this?” Pete and Lila nodded and went back to focusing on the briefing, while Myka and Claudia both watched them curiously. Steve could tell his friends were both very curious as to what had just transpired between Lila and Pete, and perhaps both were a little jealous as well. “Thank you,” Artie continued. “Pete, Myka, and Steve, you three have a flight to catch at 8:00 that will take you to Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport, from which you will be escorted to the Pentagon. Some sort of nonsense about whole offices at the Pentagon bursting into flames…”  
“Sweet!” Pete exclaimed, while Claudia grumbled.  
“Wait, the three of them, Artie? Why not me!?”  
“Claudia, you don’t have any sort of credentials that would get you into the Pentagon and I need you here in case I need you to hack into the Pentagon. So no whining!”  
“Artie! No fair! You’ve hacked into the Pentagon before! You can do it!”  
“Yes, I can,” he barked, “but that is what I pay you for! So end of discussion! You three, get a move on, your flight leaves in just over two hours.” With that he dropped the case files on the side table and headed straight out the door, leaving the five of them standing and staring at each other.  
“Well, we’d better get ourselves together,” Steve said to the group, leafing quickly through the case file. “Meet at the Prius in fifteen?”  
Everyone nodded in agreement, Steve and Myka heading upstairs to gather their things while Pete headed into the kitchen for one of the cinnamon rolls Lila had brought from the bakery in town. Having heard that even after all this time together without Leena, none of them had learned to cook, Lila decided she’d take that task upon herself, and had gone grocery shopping in town while everyone was doing inventory.   
Claudia was glancing halfheartedly over the photos in the case file. When she gave up on that she seemed to have decided that back to bed was the answer, meandering back toward the stairs. As she did, Pete came out of the dining room, one cinnamon roll in his mouth and another in his hand. “Oh my god, Claude, you have to try these,” Pete exclaimed, his words barely distinguishable through the pastry in his mouth.   
“Maybe after more sleep,” she said. “It looks as if I’ll have a long, boring weekend here alone to eat the rest.”  
“I might help you there,” Lila chimed in. “But it might be fun, we’ll have a few days to get to know each other until everyone gets back.”  
Lila tried, but it was clearly too early for Claudia to entertain her chipper attempts at friendship. She gave a halfhearted eye roll and once again turned toward the stairs, leaving Lila and Pete alone. He held out his other cinnamon roll to her, and she took it with a grateful smile, ripping a small piece off and popping it in her mouth. Pete swallowed the rest of his and gave her a sympathetic glance.  
She’ll come around, he signed, not wanting Claudia to hear him talking about her.  
I don’t know about that. She certainly isn’t crazy about me. She signed back one handed.  
She’s just… protective. She’s not so good with outsiders. Try not to take it personally. Like you said, you’ve got a few days to get to know each other. She’ll come around. She will. He winked at her and headed upstairs, patting her on the shoulder as he passed, leaving her standing alone at the base of the stairs, wondering what exactly she’d gotten herself into.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting to get to some stuff that's been tough but fun to write! And we're getting close to the smut! Hopefully with spring break this week time for posting and writing will come more easily.

Three days after the other agents had left, Claudia and Lila were sitting in the Warehouse office, working on their respective computers. Lila hadn’t even put her clip in that morning, as she could usually read lips well enough to understand the general greetings that were all she got out of Claudia anyways. They’d been working in silence for over an hour before Lila felt something hit her chair, and then something else hit her in the back of the head. She turned to see Claudia folding another paper plane, two of them lying under her desk chair. She raised a brow at Claudia, picking up one of the small planes and holding it questioningly in her hands.   
Claudia stopped folding, raising an eyebrow back at Lila mischievously before responding, mumbling so much that Lila only caught a few words. “Hang on,” Lila replied, turning back to the desk and pulling her purple jewelry box from the drawer, sliding the metal pieces through the holes in her ear as the world snapped into sound. She turned back to Claudia. “What was that?”  
“I said it’s rude to not acknowledge someone when they’re trying to talk to you. But I guess I should add that it’s also kinda rude to not even turn on your ability to understand them.” There was snark in her voice but no real heat. Lila took a deep breath, knowing there was something else underlying this outburst.   
“One could also argue it’s rude to throw paper airplanes at people. Just a thought. And you know, Claudia, I do have a language that I can always access, with or without my clip, if you maybe wanted to be considerate of my culture or if not that, the fact that this artifact causes me pain, you could attempt learning my language. But since I can hear you now, what can I do for you?” Lila put on her best smile, let it warm up the ice in her voice at Claudia’s attitude. She didn’t want the younger agent to get to her, but she was getting tired of this constant sniping.  
“I know Steve was in your room that first night.” She began, ignoring Lila’s attitude, everything in her posture conveying that this was big news, that she felt as if she’d cornered Lila from the start with this information. “I went to check if he was up before I came downstairs. He wasn’t in his room.”  
“I won’t deny that. He slept in my room, in my bed even. That was a hard day for him. He wanted company.”  
“Is that all he wanted, ‘company?’” She asked, her tone bordering on accusatory.   
Lila smiled, realization dawning on her. “Claudia, are you asking me if Steve and I had sex?”  
“I’m just saying it’s highly unprofessional for a regent.”   
“To sleep in bed with an agent or to have sex with one?”  
“So you did sleep with him!”  
Lila chuckled, taking a deep breath and pressing her fingers into the bridge of her nose. She shook her head. “I did sleep with him, Claudia, but we didn’t have sex. They’re different things. We slept in the same bed. We spooned. That’s as exciting as it got, I promise.”  
She still looked skeptical, eyes narrowed at Lila’s explanation. “So you guys don’t…” She trailed off then, as if watching her concern become more and more inappropriate by the second.   
Lila smiled then, taking in the almost defeated look that seemed to be washing over Claudia. “Listen, Claudia, I’d be lying to you if I said that we stopped having sex when we stopped dating. If we’re both single and the mood strikes and we’re in the same state, sometimes we have sex. It has happened. But currently I’m engaged, and Austin and I are monogamous, so I’m not sleeping with Steve in the way that you’re asking about. I’m not having sex with anyone until Austin gets here and then I can’t make any promises.”  
Claudia looked as if she wanted to say something before Lila’s words caught up to her ears, altering the trajectory of her thoughts. “I—wait, Austin? Your fiancé? He’s coming here? Like, he’s coming to visit?”  
Lila shook her head again, figuring at this point she was sort of stuck. “He’s coming here like he’s moving here, permanently, or at least as permanently as I’m here. He agreed to stay in his current positon for a full month to give the hospital time to find a replacement, and I think he wanted to let me sort out the tough stuff before he showed up. But back to your concerns about Steve—”  
“This is about Steve!” She interjected, not allowing Lila to divert the conversation. “Isn’t that going to be weird for everyone, having your fiancé here when you and Steve used to sleep together?”  
“There are worse things than for it to be a little weird for a little while, Claudia, but I don’t think it’ll be weird. Austin knows all about Steve and Steve knows… well that Austin exists. With everything that happened I never really got a chance to tell him, but I don’t think he’ll be upset. I think after the initial awkwardness they’ll both get along just fine.”  
Claudia watched Lila with wide eyes, confusion evident on her face. “How can you be so calm about that? What if it’s weird or they fight or they hate each other? Don’t you think your fiancé will be unhappy about living right down the hall from a guy you used to sleep with? Don’t you think he’d be upset Steve was in your bed the other night to begin with? Are you nuts?”  
Their temporary truce seemed as if it might be hitting rocky ground. Lila attempted to keep her cool. “No sense in being anything other than calm, Claudia; it doesn’t change things to worry over them. And I know that Austin isn’t crazy about the idea of living in a house with a bunch of other people since we’re used to our little house with just us and our dog, but he’s okay with living with Steve. We’ve talked about it. And he knows Steve slept in my room the other night. I would never hide that from him.” Lila closed her laptop, giving up on the work she’d been attempting and deciding to give up on this conversation before too much more of it fell apart. She got up from her chair and stuffed the laptop in her bag, turning back to Claudia, giving her a deep, searching look that made her feel very much exposed. “Sooner or later, Claudia, we all have to tell the truth, even when it isn’t any fun.”  
She held the pause just long enough to allow her words to hang ominously in the air, before slinging her messenger bag onto her shoulder and heading toward the door. “Now, since neither of us is getting anything done here, I’m going for a run. I’ll have my Farnsworth if you need me.” She walked purposely to the umbilicus door, throwing it open before turning back to look over her shoulder. “And Claudia, it’s called sex. You can’t be afraid of the word forever. I’ll see you in a bit.”  
With that the umbilicus door slammed closed on what sounded to Lila like a grumbling of “Buddhist bullshit,” coming from the office, leaving Claudia sitting at her computer in a dumbstruck silence, wondering how that conversation had taken such an ugly turn. She couldn’t believe she’d actually asked those things—of a regent especially—and now she was left to mull over the words Lila had left her with that hit just a little too close to home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and reviews always welcome!


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this story is taking forever! College graduation is suddenly less than two weeks away and there's so much to do, but I cannot wait to be done and start getting to this story more often. Thank you guys so much for coming back and reading! 
> 
> As always reviews and input are super welcome. There's going to be a fun twist in I think the next chapter, so I'm off to start writing that!

Two nights later Lila was sitting on her bed, computer propped at the foot on a Skype call with Austin. He was sitting cross-legged on their bed back home in Florida, in sweat pants and a bright teal shirt, their Golden Retriever, Zeke, lying next to him, his head in Austin’s lap. Lila’s clip was tucked in its box in her nightstand, her hair tied atop her head in the way it always seemed to be now that she was working at the Warehouse. She watched her best friend tell her all about his day off: the chores he’d done, the trip with Zeke to the dog park, the night in with his friends, all of which seemed so gloriously familiar and domestic, and she couldn’t wait to be a part of them once again.

She was so engrossed in his story that she didn’t even notice her door open. Steve stood and watched her for a few minutes, not wanting to interrupt but not wanting to leave, until Lila began to respond. _When you’re here finally_ , she began, before her eyes flitted up and saw Steve standing in the doorway, her hands pausing mid-motion, his expression quizzical at that sentence. She signed quickly back to whom Steve had now figured was Austin, apologizing and explaining Steve’s arrival back before making plans to talk the next day and ending her call.

 _I’m sorry,_ Steve signed then, still feeling out of place with his skill level, off kilter with how rusty he’d allowed himself to become. _I didn’t mean to interrupt, I just wanted to check in about how things went while we were away. But did I see that correctly? Austin is coming here?_

_He is! He’s moving in a couple of weeks! I’m surprised Claudia didn’t tell you._

His brow furrowed, obviously confused at why Claudia would have known. _I asked Claudia what happened this weekend, how things were, but she just sort of grumbled. It was a little… weird, really._

Lila smiled, folding herself cross-legged and gesturing for him to come and sit down next to her. When he was settled she attempted to explain what had happened. _You’ll have to tell me all about how it went in DC! But as for here… we got into a little bit of a… spat, I guess._ She paused, wondering if this were the time to ask these questions. _Did you and Claudia have sex?_

The shock on his face was clear before he responded. _What!?! Claudia and I, have sex?! Why would you ask that? Of course we didn’t! Did she say we did? You guys fought about that?_

_No! We didn’t fight about that we just—I don’t know. She asked about us having slept together and she seemed upset with me, I guess I just thought it was because you’d had sex with her. But if you didn’t, maybe it was because she wants—_

_She does NOT want that!_ He responded quickly, eyes wide and surprised at her interpretation. _I know you can’t withstand my charms, but I don’t think Claudia looks at me like that._

Lila laughed, holding her hands up in a soothing surrender. _I never said she did. But maybe it’s not romantic, or even sexual, she just seemed quite upset with me for having had sex with you. And she got even more upset when I told her that Austin was moving here. We didn’t fight, but she wasn’t happy about it. She thinks it’ll be weird for him to be here because of our history. I think she was a little mad I hadn’t told you. She’s very… protective of you._

Steve decided that ignoring her first point made most sense, sure that Lila was imagining whatever hostility Claudia seemed to have about their previous relationship. Still, he did wonder how things would be when Austin moved in, if he would hold some sort of suspicion of Steve because of their relationship, or more likely, because of what he’d done to Lila. Still, he attempted to put on his best front.

_I’m sure it’ll be a little weird at first, but we’ll all adjust. If you love him, I’m sure he’s great. We’ll all work it out. And yeah, Claudia is really protective of me, but that’s just how she is with her family. She’ll get to be that way about you also._

Lila smiled, knowing she had to address what Steve was worrying about even if he wouldn’t admit it. _We_ will _all adjust, I promise. I think you guys will really like each other. I know you’re worried because of what happened between us, that he’ll hold that against you. He knows what happened, but he understands that people change, that you changed, that we’re friends and I love you and I want you in my life. He wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that; he knows how important you are to me. He’s protective of his family too, but just like Claudia and I will work things out, you two will be just fine._

Steve tried to smile, tried to accept her reassurance, but his ability to detect lies didn’t quite work for sign the way it did for spoken word, and he couldn’t tell for sure if Lila really believed what she’d said. He knew she’d promised not to lie to him, but after growing used to knowing, it was difficult to settle back into uncertainty. Still, he tried to believe her.

_We will all work it out, I’m sure you’re right. So, tell me about this guy. How’d you meet, what’s he like, how long have you been together; give me all the details. If he’s moving to the Warehouse it must be pretty serious. Is he your…one?_

Steve saw then the smile he’d always hoped to see on his best friend; he watched her glitter like early morning rain. _He is my one. I think I knew the first time I met him that he would be. Everything just felt… right. I know that sounds a little crazy._

Steve smiled then himself, the look on his face far away. Almost instantly he heard the words he’d told Pete almost two years ago echo back. _No it doesn’t… it doesn’t seem crazy at all. You know I used to feel the same way about…_

It dawned on Lila instantly, her eyes wide, her hand making a name sign that was so familiar to the both of them. _Liam._ She paused, watching the corners of his mouth pull slightly upward at the mention of his name. Lila returned a sympathetic smile _. I’m sorry, love. I didn’t mean to bring—_

 _It’s fine, honestly._ He signed, looking quickly down and away, unsure what to say to her. She put her hand to his chin gently, turning his face to meet her gaze.

_Why not just call him? Or take a weekend trip? He’s not seeing anyone right now._

Steve shook his head furiously, disputing her request in as many ways as he could think of. _I can’t. I ruined that when I left him, when I moved out of the state to join the land of endless wonder without even saying goodbye. Besides, even if I could fix it, it’s too hard. He’s so far away, we’re on other sides of the country, we both travel all the time. It just would be too hard._

_Harder than missing him all the time? Harder than those brief phone calls and text message conversations where you don’t say anything to avoid saying how you feel? I think all of that sounds pretty hard. Not to mention sneaking off to the gay bars in Featherhead or Pasque city or even when you’re out on cases late at night to get your needs met._

Steve almost laughed then. He hadn’t told anyone that, not even Claudia. _You know about that, huh? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. You’ve always seen right through me. I do go sometimes, but I never give my name, never sleep with the same person more than once, never drink if I’m going out, never drink or eat anything from the people I sleep with, and I always use protection. I’m careful, Lou; you don’t have to worry about me._

 _Talk about a lot of work,_ she signed, raising a brow at him knowingly.

 _You’re not wrong, but it still feels easier than the alternative._ He smiled at her, though a little sadly. _We can’t all find our_ one _at once I suppose. So let me live vicariously through you for a little while. Tell me all about Austin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment with any input or feel free to leave a review!

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Reviews and input super welcome!


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